This Post Comes Without Pictures
Friday night was one of the worst mommy experiences EVER. Awhile after I put Soren to bed I heard him crying hysterically. I ran to his room and at first I thought he was having a nightmare. He was laying on his side, completely immobile, and crying hysterically. I couldn't tell if his eyes were open since it was dark. I started trying to calm him down. That is when he sobbed out the story.
Get this: he had zipped the tip of his penis into the zipper of his jammies!
He wouldn't let me get anywhere near the thing, so I called for Peter. Thank heavens he is 1) decisive and 2) an owner of the particular equipment involved (somehow this makes me think that he knows more about how to handle such types of emergencies). He instructed me to hold Soren's arms down and he pulled the zipper back down. Soren totally screamed. I mean SCREAMED. Once he was free, I just held him until he could stop sobbing.
I looked as much as I could (he wasn't very open to any action in that area) and didn't see any blood or major trauma. So I just put him to bed. Upon closer examination this morning I confirmed that he didn't sustain any lasting damage. Phew. Our poor kid almost circumcised himself.
I'm not sure what the particular lesson there is. Does this mean that little boys need to wear underwear under their zippered pajamas? Are they supposed to wear underwear under all their pajamas? Again, not being an owner of said equipment I kind of thought it might be nice to not always be so constrained. Why don't little boys come with instruction manuals?
******************
Side note: I didn't really know whether to post this story on the blog. I mean, I include the big and small details of our daily life so it made sense that way. But I wondered if this one kind of crossed the line into the personal realm. Penises kind of seem to be by definition kind of personal, no? I gave Peter the deciding vote. His answer - brace yourself - was that I should post it because almost everyone who reads this is female and therefore likes to hear about traumatic penis injuries just to make up for their penis envy. [Insert eye roll] I think he got an A in his Freudian Psychology class.
Get this: he had zipped the tip of his penis into the zipper of his jammies!
He wouldn't let me get anywhere near the thing, so I called for Peter. Thank heavens he is 1) decisive and 2) an owner of the particular equipment involved (somehow this makes me think that he knows more about how to handle such types of emergencies). He instructed me to hold Soren's arms down and he pulled the zipper back down. Soren totally screamed. I mean SCREAMED. Once he was free, I just held him until he could stop sobbing.
I looked as much as I could (he wasn't very open to any action in that area) and didn't see any blood or major trauma. So I just put him to bed. Upon closer examination this morning I confirmed that he didn't sustain any lasting damage. Phew. Our poor kid almost circumcised himself.
I'm not sure what the particular lesson there is. Does this mean that little boys need to wear underwear under their zippered pajamas? Are they supposed to wear underwear under all their pajamas? Again, not being an owner of said equipment I kind of thought it might be nice to not always be so constrained. Why don't little boys come with instruction manuals?
******************
Side note: I didn't really know whether to post this story on the blog. I mean, I include the big and small details of our daily life so it made sense that way. But I wondered if this one kind of crossed the line into the personal realm. Penises kind of seem to be by definition kind of personal, no? I gave Peter the deciding vote. His answer - brace yourself - was that I should post it because almost everyone who reads this is female and therefore likes to hear about traumatic penis injuries just to make up for their penis envy. [Insert eye roll] I think he got an A in his Freudian Psychology class.
OUCH!! I would say wear underwear. Poor boy! One of Trevor's coworker's little boy (did you follow that?) got his slammed when the toilet seat fell on it. Trevor is petrified that is going to happen to Carson.
ReplyDeleteOh, that poor little guy! I guess I would say wear underwear as well or just don't mess with the zipper!! I hope he isn't scared for life! I don't mean literally!
ReplyDeleteOh, poor, poor little boy. And poor parents! I'm so sorry for him. "There's Something About Mary" comes to mind. I didn't think that could really happen. I notice the "no more diapers" post preceding this one. I hope his accident doesn't make him go back to diapers. Maybe some boxers would be nice for night. No restrictions, but a little coverage.
ReplyDeleteI never heard of not wearing underwear to bed. Is that a West Coast thing? LOL!
ReplyDeleteYikes! I couldn't help but laugh and cringe as I read that post.
ReplyDeleteDid that evening cause Soren to revert back to diapers in the evening? He may want to think about that...much more padding and protection than going commando.
Poor Soren!! I vote for underwear at all times... I had a slumber party as a kid and woke up next to my friend who didn't wear underwear and her nightgown had ridden up... I was traumatized for life! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm just going to say one thing...OUCH!!!
ReplyDeletePoor guy--I would have no clue what to do either. Thank goodness for husbands.
ReplyDeletePoor Soren! I'm a big fan of the adorable zip-up jammies, but we made the leap to the two piece pajamas so Colin can take himself to the bathroom. The problem is without those little padded feet running around in the morning, the baby in them is really gone :(
ReplyDelete